To Blog or Not to Blog

I was reading one of my favorite blogs the other day, PeoriaIllinoisan, and came across the Blogger Bylaws. It's a set of rules designed to separate the bloggers from the . . . well, I guess . . . normal people. It's actually quite funny. Of course, as a normal person who occasionally reads blogs, I didn't realize that these types of bylaws govern the blogosphere. And in all honesty, judging by the content on some local blogs (names withheld to protect the presumed innocent), these bylaws are not strictly enforced.

So, anyway. As I was reading the bylaws, I thought to myself, "Gee, I could start one of them there blogs." After all, I think I meet the minimal requirements:

• I know how to type. I've known since high school. It's one of those classes I took over objection. But my parents told me I'd thank them later for the suggestion. Well, mom, dad. Thank you. It's not only helped in my professional life, but also in my current quest to become a blogger.

• I basically understand English. I also have a basic understanding of German and some French. Ausgezeichnet! Fischers Fritze fischt frische Fische. Frische Fische fischt Fischers Fritz. Any questions?

• I have interests. Although I'm not interesting, I do have interests. I love movies (thus, the blog name, "The Usual Suspects," one of my favorite all-time movies). I love to write, produce, and record music in my ProTools-based home recording studio (thus, my somewhat disturbing alter-ego over at The Brick Beat), and I am interested in the law. Actually, now that I think about it, I am a lawyer who, over the past twelve years, has done a lot of criminal defense work (thus, the other reason for my blog name, "The Usual Suspects.")

• I read the PJ Star. Online that is. And the more I read, the more convinced I become that people who want to post comments on that website should be required to first pass some kind of basic literacy test. I'll work on the details and get back to you. Oh yeah, I'll also work on getting a subscription. After all, they withhold some of their content from the online edition. And, I wouldn't want to be the last to know -- particularly if it involves one of my clients.
  

In addition to the above credentials, I think I can post often enough and attend the "meetings" (whatever that means . . . I'm not sure if the "meetings" are some kind of support group, perhaps BA - Bloggers' Anonymous?). I can also be bitchy and negative, although I'm usually optimistic and not bitchy.

I will certainly never ask for contributions, nor will I donate to Billy's Peoria Pundits (and that's because he doesn't adhere strictly to the bylaws -- particularly the "Know how to type" requirement -- reading his blog can become very frustrating to the reader who must navigate through a veritable minefield of typos). Of course, I can't blame my buddy, Attorney John Vespa, for throwing some advertising dollars his way. He's a great attorney and friend, so I won't hold it against him -- his decision to support Bill's Blog.

I further pledge to continue commenting on others' blogs. I've done so in the past under my pseudonym, Brick (a moniker paying homage to my serious lack of basketball talent). And I'll continue to do so in the future. I'll also update my blogroll to include my favorite local and national blogs, starting of course with PeoriaIllinoisan. But question: Does the Blogger Code of Ethics compel me to include Vonster?

Well, I hope I've sufficiently demonstrated my Blog Creds. Of course, it's possible that no one will ever read this. In that event, this blog will serve as a personal diary, of sorts. At very least, it will force me to do something that requires meaningful thought on a regular basis. It will certainly force me to find noteworthy topics to write about. So, perhaps this will make me become more observant and opinionated (i.e., "interesting"). If not, just kick me out of the club for violating the bylaws.