10. I could be more like a private investigator, and less like an actual lawyer. Yes, the lawyers on TV are always out and abo
ut investigating the case. Driving down to seedy neighborhoods, talking to shady characters who, for some reason, have something relevant to say. It's good for the story and makes for entertaining television. But it's not real. Real lawyers spend most of their time in their offices. Boring.
9. Big, Gaudy Offices. Can you say, "Jay Janssen"? (for readers unfamiliar with the Peoria area, insert your local, big-name ambulance chaser here) Enough already.
8. Big, Gaudy Sports Cars. (insert the name he
re)
7. Lots of Women with Big, Gaudy . . . Okay, you get the point. (Alright, I know, Jessica Alba doesn't play a lawyer on TV . . . but, I wish she did.) (sorry, Linda)
6. Perry Mason Moments. Once, before I die, I want to experience a Perry 
Mason Moment: The smoking gun that, to the utter shock and awe of the prosecution, proves my client's innocence. It'll never happen. But still, I Want to Believe. Captain Ahab may have died a frustrated man, but at very least, he could dream about his Great White Whale.
5. I Could Have Only One Case. Yes, TV lawyers seem to have only one case at a time. TV police too. That sure would be nice. I usually have around 75 or 80 happening at once. Real police detectives probably have similarly large caseloads.
4. Money, Money, Money. Why are all the TV lawyers always so damn rich? I wanna be like that. Until then, I'll keep playing the lottery.
3. I could win most, if not all, of my cases. TV lawyers invariably win the case. There are rare exceptions, but more often than not, they win.
2. See number 7, above.
(Okay, I know . . . Julianne Nicholson no longer plays a TV lawyer, but she use to. And that's good enough for me.)(sorry again, Linda)
And the #1 Reason Why I Wanna Be a TV Lawyer . . .
1. I could tell people, "I'm not really a lawyer -- I just play one on TV."
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8 comments:
Once was fine, but TWICE?? Apology NOT accepted now!
Hey grandma...you got Mr. Speedo with all the junk outside his trunks....eeeew!
Well, at least lawyers are on TV or in the movies; very few math professors are. :-)
And those that are are very, very smart (unlike me).
As far as the babes: yeah, I got rushed by my "groupies" after knocking them dead during my last presentation. (yeah right)
I saw your comment on my blog. A fellow "Pro-Tool"er. That's cool. I recorded/produced an artist by the name of Jeremy Casella (your gonna have to Google him cause I'm not good at coding the link). The album is titled "Faith and Heartache." He's not local but a good friend I made when I lived in Nashville. There was another local band called Before The Crowe that I recorded/produced/played/sang on. But it never got released. Anyway, its' nice to make your acquaintance.
Kevin, I'm going back to school for political science and philosophy. Law is a pretty relevant subject... got any old college books I could hawk?
sounds good.
Kev, I used to live in Peoria! Nice to read your blog!
The British Bird
Hahaha!
I bet the stress is much less...playing one on tv...then putting up with the a-holes in real life....
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